skyman664
Selected Fri, Jun 30, 2023
"Starbal!"
Shit. Shit shit shit. This is it. I knew I shouldn't have spent the last hour at Subway, but how often do you get free refills around here?
"Hey Starbal, a word."
I clock the several looks, grimaces and smiles which come my way as I'm following Johanna to her office. Smug bastards. If they knew what I'd been through, they wouldn't be so quick to judge.
"Starbal, I don't really have time to muck around, so I'm just gonna get straight to the point."
And here we go again, fired before the month is out. I mean with a name like Dazy Starbal, what chance did I have in the first place?
Stupid parents.
"I know your secret."
Um, the shit?
"Um, sorry?"
"Don't play silly with me, young lady. I know. I've known for a long time and today I finally got the proof. It's you. You're Arturida!"
I'm a turd, now?
"I'm sorry Miss Johnson, I really don't follow what-"
"Okay, I know. I know. You can't reveal yourself here but I just want you to know that I know. And that I support you. And that I think you're the best thing that ever happened to this shitty city since I started this company thirty years ago."
Oh shit. She thinks I'm that superhero. Okay, play it cool.
"I just... do what anyone else would do."
"Humble. Classy. I'd expect no less. Now I know that sometimes you might have to ... leave work unexpectedly. I know that sometimes you already have. And I want you to know that at any time if you have to go, you just go. No questions. Understand?"
Well that was a freebie. Okay, deliver this shit noble Marvel style.
"I understand... Miss Johnson."
Smooth.
"Good."
Our silence is quickly broken by the wailing of sirens outside. We move to the window.
Johanna turns to me, a wry smile on her face.
"I guess that's your cue."
I turn towards the door.
"Oh, come on Aturdida. Surely a dozen floors up is no problem for someone like you."
Oh fucking shitballs. Welp. This is what I get I suppose. I don't think. I just do. I'm a superhero now. I open the window, do my best superhero crouch on the ledge and wink. I jump, because it's the laziest way out of this situation.
I fly. Vertically. Downwards.
The ground races towards me and I close my eyes, bracing for impact.
"Woah, steady there."
What?
"Don't you worry, I gotcha. I'm gonna take you right back to where you fell from, lucky I was passing by. Another life saved by ... ATURDIDA!"
As I'm walking through a now completed befuddled office, I wonder who was should be more embarrassed, the Lead Editor of a Newspaper Company who got it so wrong, or someone who is literally such a lazy bastard that they would jump out a window rather than do some work?
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Submitted by skyman664 on Mon, Jun 26, 2023 to /r/WritingPrompts/
Full submission hereThe prompt
Your boss at the newspaper company is starting to notice he's never seen you and the local superhero in the same room together. You're actually just a terrible employee.
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