Random stories

**Gay-sekai**

I awakened on a field of fallen cherry blossoms, with the taste of iced coffee still on my tongue. This didn't feel like being hit by a car. It felt more like a dream, or perhaps stepping onto the set of a perfume commercial. I thought to myself: "Eh, what the hell. Five more minutes couldn't hurt."

I felt something soft fall on my face as I drifted off again, and twitched my nose, unconsciously, turning my face to the side. A few moments, something soft fell on my ear, and I ignored it. A few lovely moments of relaxation later, and I was rudely awakened by a bucket of cold water dumped directly onto my midsection.

"AAAA! What the hell! Who does th-"

I opened my eyes to notice a young woman standing over me, with an exceedingly fluffy sheep standing right by her side. She was dressed in a shepherd's garb, and her proportions were, for lack of a better word, implausible. She was remarkably top-heavy, with a bosom that could function as a flotation device in the event of an airplane crash.

"... Doesn't your back hurt?"

She responded, indignantly at first but then hesitantly. "I... have never actually been asked that before. Yes, actually. It's been acting up lately."

Wanting to change the subject, she quickly transitions back to a more assertive tone of voice.

"Anyway, what the hell is a stranger like you doing in my field! You're lucky I didn't have Maximus here keep chewing on you until you decided to wake up!"

The sheep bleats an affirmative, showing teeth that clearly were not nearly sharp enough for that purpose.

I stand up, brushing cherry blossom petals off my shirt.

"Look, I'm not sure if this is Adventures In Comaland or something, but I just woke up here. If anything, you're the one that has explaining to do. Where am I?"

She looks a little confused. "My farm."

"Yes, from the context, that's clear. But where is your farm?"

She comes to a realization. "Oh, you must be a mage from a distant land, and your teleporter spell must have gone hideously awry. That must be why you don't know where you are, and why your clothes are so unfashionable."

I blink. "Unfashionable?"

"Yes, around here, paisley blouses went out of style decades ago."

Frustrated, I start yelling. "But where is here!?"

"You're in Tyvia, you dumb shit! You know? Big kingdom with a complicated legal system, the origin of the Elemental Stones Of Power, and more legendary heroes than you could shake a stick at. None of that rings a bell?"

I took my phone out of my pocket, and saw that it was dead. Figures. "Ma'am, I'm from Chicago. I've never heard of any place called Tyvia in my life."

She went from being irritated to furious, brandishing her bucket like a weapon. "Don't 'ma'am' me, you bastard! Do I look like an old maid to you?"

I took a few steps back. "OK. OK. Jeez. Just trying to be polite. I apologize, my bad."

I rubbed the back of my head with my hand. "Look, we got off on the wrong foot. Let's start off with introductions. My name's Devin. What's yours?"

She paused for a beat before sighing. "Marguerite."

"Werk."

"Werk?"

"It basically just means 'Yes' or 'OK'."

"I see..."

A few awkwardly silent seconds passed by, with the only sounds being the wind through the cherry trees and the enthusiastic munching of Maximus the sheep.

"Marguerite, you said that there were mages here, right? Would any of them be able to tell me what's going on with all of this?"

She narrowed her eyes. "Probably, but there's only two nearby. There's Vivian, the village cleric, and Ignatius."

"What does Ignatius do?"

"High crimes and misdemeanors."

"Ah. Bad wizard. Got it."

She points to a nearby hillside. "Vivian's temple's at the bottom of that hill over there, in the village square. You can't miss it, it has a big ol' obelisk right outside the front doors. Do you need me to walk you there?"

"Actually, yes. I don't even know what an obelisk is."

She rolls her eyes. "Fine, but you'll know it when you see it."

"Thanks, Marguerite."

---

Submitted by StartInATavern on Tue, Dec 20, 2022 to /r/WritingPrompts/

The prompt

You, a gay man, save a friend from being hit by a truck but resulting in you being hit instead. You wake up in an isekai anime obviously meant for the friend. So with a lack of male options you decide to try and get the main villain to date you