Random stories

"Sir, you can't come through he-"

**\*Slap\***

"You raise a very good argument. Please, come through," the security guard said as he grasped his red cheek where I just slapped him.

I walked down the corridor of the White House with determination in my eyes, my goal simple.

To slap the President of the United States.

Why, you might be wondering? Out of the few people in the world who have superpowers, I have the most peculiar one. I can slap the stupid out of people. It's been *so much* more useful than you might think. Last month, a supervillain tried to rob a bank. I slapped him. He realized that robbing the bank might provide him with temporary riches but will ultimately decrease the quality of his life as he has to run and hide from society. He promptly started using his powers for good to gain not only riches through classical success but also the praise and respect of the people around him.

That was a good fight.

But now *this*. The President revealed his plans to establish a prohibition. Because the first one went *so well*. Because the first one was *really effective* at stopping people from drinking like they have been for the last couple of millennia. Because it *totally didn't* cause rampant crime and gang activity.

Absolute tosser that guy.

"Sir, how did you get in here? This is a restricted area!" a man called out to me. Wearing a black suit and an earpiece, he seemed to be a member of the Secret Service. I turned to him with a serious look.

"I'm here to slap the President. Stop him from being a dumbass."

I saw his trained hand reach towards his gun. My hand was faster.

"Ow."

"You see now?"

"I mean... yeah. This way."

The walk to the Oval Office was largely uneventful - a few well-placed slaps and brief explanations were all that was needed to waltz right in.

"Johnson? Who is this man?" the President said as he saw me walk in.

"He's got some important arguments to raise regarding your latest policy, sir," the bodyguard next to me explained. I walked up to the President, face to face.

"How do you feel about Prohibition?" I asked.

"It's the only reasonable idea. It will-"

**\*Slap\***

"Wh- arrest this man!" the President cried out as he clutched his cheek.

"Hear him out, sir," the bodyguard protested.

"How do you feel about Prohibition?" I asked again.

"I- I just told you, it's the most reasonable-"

I breathed deeply and uncovered my ultimate weapon.

*The Backhand.*

**\*Slap\***

"Ow! Stop that!"

"**How do you feel about Prohibition?**!" I yelled.

"How many times do I have to tell you? It's the right thing!" the President yelled back and started to back away.

My eyes went wide with realization and my terror grew absolute. I... I couldn't do it.

This man wasn't just a moron.

*He was a* ***politician***.

---

Submitted by SirPiecemaker on Sun, Feb 26, 2023 to /r/WritingPrompts/

The prompt

You are one of the few people in the world who has powers. You have the ability to literally slap the stupid out of someone. You are desperately trying to break into the Whitehouse to stop the president from starting a new prohibition era.