Random stories

I never wanted to be a cult leader in the first place. That's what I keep tellin myself. The whole reason I even allowed myself to start this whole thing was because I convinced myself it was good for the neighborhood anyway. After all, if one cult's around, surely that would keep any other kooky creeps from butting in. And if you absolutely *had* to have a cult 'round, surely the townsfolk'd want it to be the one all about love and acceptance and not carin who joins and who doesn't and whatnot, right? That's what I keep tellin myself. Of course, I always knew the day could come that I'd actually have to own up to that self-promise. I just never thought it'd involve meeting with an honest to goodness, red-as-an-apple, goat-horns-and-all demon. Or so they tell me.

"Good afternoon, dark one! Or is it evening now? You had me in that waitin room so long," the conman gives a half-hearted-light-hearted chuckle, as he approaches the demon, as close as he dares, as nonchalantly as possible. "I like how you've decorated. A little too blood-red for my tastes, but it matches your... well, anyway..."

The demon gives a puzzled expression leaning in, although making sure to stay above eye level, "Most humans are much more terrified by my kind the first time they gaze upon me. Why are you not?"

The conman gave as patronizing a laugh as he could, trying not to throw up, "Oh, my friend, you are not the first demon I have met," he says, staring him straight in the eyes.

The demon quickly lifts his head back, standing as tall as he can, "You... have met... who?"

"Well, I didn't exactly catch any names, of course, but I believe they were your superior, no?"

The demon crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow, waiting patiently to be convinced.

"A darker shade of red than you, horns pointed out, green eyes, ringin any bells? Anyway, they came into town, wantin the same thing you do now. Had to turn em down, if ya know what mean?"

The demon turned to face the wall, weighing this information for what felt like forever. With whatever demon powers he had, maybe it was? But finally, he turned back around and gave his answer, "Go. Leave now, human. You have said your peace. I... we have decided to not spread the cult to your territory. Accept this generosity. Now go."

Getting escorted out by a rather distraught hooded figure that he was pretty sure was his high school teacher, the conman felt rather pleased with himself, having just conned a demon. Out of the building and rounding the corner, making sure no one was around, he barfed into the nearest trashcan. He could not believe that describing the demon from Adventure Time actually worked.

---

Submitted by CK1ing on Wed, Jan 11, 2023 to /r/WritingPrompts/

The prompt

You are a successful conman who makes the bulk of your revenue off of a benign cult you started. When an evil demonic cult pops up on your turf, you decide to take action. Its not until later you realize the 'demon' at the head of the cult is real. Doesn't mean he can't be conned all the same.