Random stories

"See, the hoomans call this "creestll meath"" The words echoed through the bathroom in the shitty decrepit spaceport bathroom, bouncing wildly around off the tacky chromed walls and ceiling. "And I'm gonna find out what the fuss is about as soon as I work up the grebmocks to do it" The silence after that statement seemed like it should have echoed, but it didn't because that was a metaphor and sounds are a requirement for echoes to actually occur in this context. "Dude, you really shouldn't have that. How in the name of fusion did you even get that? DO you have any idea how toxic *weak* hooman drugs are? and you're gonna grockle with what is supposedly the strongest one?!" A second, much more guttural voice responded in a tone that rumbled the tacky, chrome plated bathroom. "Well, Yeah! I wanna feel the energy of the universe! I wanna try it!" The sound of a formerly sealed pouch being torn open is present, then near instantly two voices can be heard groaning and gurgling, and after a few seconds there is a silence.

In a room with a uniformed jellyfish, a medical examiner/detective droid spoke in a droning, level tone. "As you can hear from the quantum video reconstruction taken from the port bathroom, these two were in the room when a small amount of the class 7 toxic substance known to the humans as "crystal methamphetamine" was released into the air from the enthusiastic opening of the package it was stored in. Death was near instant for both occupants of the room, as the minimum lethal dose to grebolons was determined in testing to be in the nanogram range, and the package contained about 5 grams of the illicit substance"

"The recommended action is to space the contaminated corpses and cleanse the washroom with extreme prejudice. Additionally, charges may be pursued against the dockworkers that allowed this to be smuggled aboard. This concludes my analysis, I do not have the required accreditation to make further statements on the matter"

The jellyfish sighed. It was just another day on the force, yes, but he often wondered what possessed some individuals to completely discard all common sense and kill themselves and others with their recklessness. Drugs, he thought, could not possibly be THAT good.

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Submitted by NaraFox257 on Thu, May 25, 2023 to /r/WritingPrompts/

The prompt

It turns out that humans are the only galactic species able to safely handle drugs. Other species have such a low tolerance that a small cup of coffe basically works like a crystal meth. You are one such oblivious, very curious alien that got his hands on an ACTUAL crystal meth.