Random stories

Somewhere in stories and fables of what the future could hold, there is always a mention of a city without end. Maybe it’s covering the planet, maybe it just stretches out to the horizon but in very few of them, at least what Tallo could remember, was how bright it would be. Billboards, holograms, vehicles, and just basic lights made even the deepest of night feel brighter than the noonday sun. How could anyone sleep in this? Looking closely, Tallo found some who were doing just that on the streets below regardless.

Turning away from the window, Tallo tried to go over her notes again in her head as she studied the office she felt confined to at the moment. She wasn’t under arrest or even a hostile guest. In fact, she was told she would be treated with every courtesy but at the moment it felt like a slight. How long had they been here? Long enough that her guards actually started looking bored and her assistant looked tired.

“Try and stay at attention,” Tallo said softly as she walked by the two larger men, their brown fur trimmed and neat while their armour held tight against their chest. Their helmets, it was probably a fortunate thing, hid their long faces. The Illiumi were a cautious race, small compared to beings that had first greeted them and apparently much smaller than their proposed guardianship species.

“Yes, Chancellor,” both of them snapped to attention but she watched both relax far quicker than they should have.

“Ma’am?” Tallo’s assistant, Maiv, looked up from his work and smoothed out the white fur he had been ruffling as he thought, “Did we do something wrong?”

“Not to my knowledge,” Tallo sighed, “But one can’t assume anything in a situation like this.”

“That’s why I have been reading,” Maiv explained, “Have you looked over the species they have us paired with?”

“I have.”

“They are insane,” Maiv complained as he lifted up his tablet and earned a hard look from Tallo in response.

“Hold your tongue before we actually do something improper,” Tallo hissed, “We don’t know when we are going to be greeted or who is listening right now. You will assume everything is being recorded.”

“My apologies,” Maiv anxiously muttered as he looked around the room, “I meant it as… umm.”

“If you have nothing pertinent to say,” Tallo glared, “You will hold your tongue.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” Maiv said quickly as he nodded.

Tallo let out a long, slow breath to steady her nerves. She had been made to wait before by different diplomates and in hostile nations but this felt different. This was just empty. There was nothing. They had food and beverages, which they hadn’t touched, and they had complete control over most of the controls in the room, which they dared not go near.

The door hissing open snapped them all back to attention as they diplomate they had been received by entering the room.

“My absolute and sincere apologies about how long this has taken Chancellor Tallo of Sen,” Ma’gor expressed and to Tallo’s keen senses seemed sincere. He was a large reptile but Tallo had found his mood almost seemed to explode onto his face and in his stance. If he was lying or telling a falsehood, it would have been known. Setting up the display in front of him, Ma’gor continued, “Not to speak ill of them but your Guiding Species creates issues with the chaos they call enjoyment. Or celebration in the situation.”

“Is that so?” Tallo asked coldly, she hadn’t liked being kept waiting and she wasn’t fond of this excuse.

“Apparently, they had set up a bomb in the amphitheatre in order to greet you,” Ma’gor explained, looking up from the desk and at her. Their eyes met for a moment but it was all that it took for Tallo to see frustration rather than concern in the reptilian creature. “They called it ‘firework’ and it’s meant as a ‘fun’ way to get to know them.”

“Were they going to use it on us?” Maiv asked, now sounding very concerned.

“No,” Ma’gor gave out a sound that was something between a scoff and a laugh, “The plan was to launch it into the air and have the burning embers shower down on us.”

“That sounds dangerous,” Maiv muttered.

“And extremely illegal,” Ma’gor added, “the fact that they got it onto the planet is going to be a nightmare for our security to work out. The thing is the size of a bolder.”

“And this is the species that we have been paired with?” Tallo cut in before Ma’gor could continue.

“I’m sorry. This exchange isn’t what I was planning on. To be honest, Humans are the species that matches closer to your culture than others on offer right now,” Ma’gor explained, “They have been through multiple test species and have done well with creatures of your size, shape, and features. We hope. I mean they are very empathetic. To some. We aren’t entirely sure what their trigger is but they keep trying to explain it.”

“And why do they think that they would make good guides?” Tallo asked, straightening up and trying to do her best to look as neutral as possible.

“You are apparently, friend-shaped,” Ma’gor stated.

The room went quiet, Tallo knew her face fell while trying to figure out if the translation had come through correctly or what that could have meant. She watched, though, as Maiv opened his mouth and then shut it again and her guards, quiet and still as they were, glanced at each other.

“Friend shaped?” Tallo asked back, “May I get you to restate that or explain it.”

“It’s not an error,” Ma’gor confirmed, “That’s how they say it. I am apparently not friend shaped. Your species is friend shaped.” Quickly remembering something he added, “Actually, to be clear, some of my species is friend shaped to certain members of humanity but not all.”

“Why?” Maiv couldn’t seem to help but ask.

“Maiv,” Tallo hissed, “You will let me speak in this situation. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Ma’am,” Maiv said quickly and looked away.

“Good,” Tallo confirmed with a nod before repeating Maiv’s remark in the same disbelieving tone, “Why?”

“Same reason they celebrate by setting things on fire, blowing things up, or sometimes just destroying things,” Ma’gor explained, looking baffled, “We have no idea. They sometimes build whole structures just to watch it burn.”

“And again,” Tallo, now fairly frustrated, “You think this is the best species to guide us?”

“And again, they are very empathetic to those they deem friend shaped,” Ma’gor admitted, “Which they have agreed you are. They are actually somewhat reasonable if you set firm boundaries, which your species has done even in some cases where it may be taken as an offense. Lastly, you’ll probably have to deal with them anyway because of their fascination with you.”

“Do we have a choice in this?” Tallo asked.

“Not really,” Ma’gor admitted.

“Okay, well,” Tallo stammered, “What are other species that are friend shaped.”

“On their planet, Wolves, Bears, most of the large Felines,” Ma’gor started to list off, “Basically anything smaller than them with large ears. Some things with big eyes. On my homeworld, they really seem to like the spiked and horned Reavers. They call them Wyvers for some reason.”

“How big?” Maiv gasped as he read something that he had pulled up on his tablet.

“Oh, yeah,” Ma’gor said with a nod, “No size is too big or creature too dangerous to be considered friend shaped to these things.”

“Look at this,” Maiv held up his table to show them all the snow leopard paws that he had searched up. It’s claws fully extended. “What is this? These are apparently huge. Like,” and Maiv tried to measure them out with his own paws. He had to reach, “Like this.”

“Correct,” Ma’gor stated, “They are indeed quite large. Human’s call them murder mittens.”

“That,” Tallo sighed, “That better not have been translated correctly.”

“My sincere apologies,” Ma’gor could only say with a sigh as he pulled up the forms he needed to continue.

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Submitted by Deep-Raven on Tue, Feb 07, 2023 to /r/WritingPrompts/

The prompt

Your planet has finally achieved FTL travel and is being welcomed into the galactic community. However the species selected to guide your people through this process is a terrifying and warlike predator species called....humans.