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"Honey," I said as I pulled out the arrow out of my heart, the wound closing instantly, "I think your father is trying to tell me something."

I gently laid the arrow on a nearby table as Loretta, my dear wife of 18 years, rushed to grab her father's, The King's, bow as he notched another arrow.

"You can't be doing this!" the King cried out. "You're- you're just a- a *human*!"

"Your Highness," I frowned, "that's a bit..."

"Father, *please!*" Loretta pleaded. "Can we just talk about this for a moment?!"

The King huffed and puffed but hesitantly lowered the bow, though it was more than apparent he was ready to fire at a moment's notice.

"Thank you," I smiled, pulling an enchanted knife from my side. "*As I was saying* \- I'm officially immortal!"

"*I'll show you immortal you son of a-*" the King growled quietly.

"Markus," Loretta smiled, "that's... wonderfully unexpected! How, uh, did you manage that?"

"Lots of alchemy, some artifice, a little bit of demon-dealing, you know, the works."

"You've made a deal with a demon?!" Loretta gasped. The King started raising his bow again.

"No, no, of course not," I replied hastily. The bow lowered again.

"Oh, good. I was starting to-"

"*It* made a deal with *me*."

The two royals stared at me quietly.

"It *what*?" The King asked with shockingly little hostility in his voice.

"You'd be surprised how eager it was to learn about my alchemical formulae. Practically gave that incantation scroll away," I chuckled softly.

"Oh," Loretta simply exclaimed. "Markus, it's- it's truly wonderful to hear. It's just that-"

"Elven royalty doesn't marry humans!" the King scoffed.

"Your Highness, I do recall you giving us your blessing personally," I protested.

"Not like that!" he rebuked. "Until death do us part! You mayflies die in only a few decades and we gain some valuable family experience before settling down with someone *proper*!"

"Another elf, I take it?" I asked.

"*Of course* another elf, who else?!" he shouted. "And you," he yelled at someone over my shoulder, "cut it out! It's distracting! And *clearly* not working!"

I turned around and noticed several royal guards loading a death-cursed bolt into a relic crossbow aimed at my back. Hearing the King's order, they grumbled quietly and left.

"Loretta," I said softly, turning to my wife. "Is... that it? Was I just someone you picked at random for *practice*?"

She looked at me gently; her eyes had the light, grey sheen they had from the moment we met. The glow I fell in love with. The softness that brought me peace. That made me forget everything I've done in the past. It *almost* made me feel like my hands weren't covered in blood.

"No," she replied, her voice oddly hoarse and shaky. "No, it's- *of course not*. I just... I made my peace knowing you'll be gone one day. I'm just... I never thought..." he sentence trailed off, hanging in the air.

I smiled ever so slightly.

"Your Highness," I said, turning to the King again, "you should know I didn't accomplish this myself." He raised an eyebrow, somehow still managing to frown despite it; seeing his interest, I continued. "I was aided by Count Metgael. He was very eager to aid my quest for immortality. He realized if he were to help me, my gratitude would make me malleable to his influence, something he could use to further his campaign against your rule. Who better to support his cause than the son-in-law of the King himself?"

"You made a deal with that prick?!" the King bellowed.

"He also broke several of the Realm's core rules in order to assist me," I continued calmly and pulled several parchments out of my pocket. "Here is only a handful of pieces of evidence I have gathered against him. Nothing severe enough to warrant banishment, but outrageous enough to sever his ties to the rest of the Court. He should pose no threat for at least the next 300 years or so."

The King, still refusing to let go of his bow, reached out and carefully snatched the parchment out of my extended hand. As his eyes darted over the text, a sly, subtle grin spread across his face.

"*Metgael, you little fuck, I've got you now*," he chuckled. He looked back up at me. "So... you did this?"

"Yes, your Highness."

He huffed and laid his bow down on the table next to the enchanted knife. "I'll be in my study. Have the rest of the evidence sent there; *then* we'll talk. *Don't think this is over*," he said and stormed off.

The room went quiet as only me and my wife remained.

"Loretta," I said in a hushed tone, "It was never my intention to anger you. If this is something that... bothers you, I won't stand in the way of-"

My words were cut short as she walked towards me and kissed me deeply. Pulling away, our faces mere inches apart, she looked into my eyes and I into hers.

"*'Till death do us part*," she whispered with a smile.

And I believed her.

---

Submitted by SirPiecemaker on Sun, May 21, 2023 to /r/WritingPrompts/

The prompt

Young Adult elves often form practice families with humans before returning to their lives once their human partner dies, basically the human equivalent of an affair. You, the elf crown princess, were doing the sa-"Honey, guess who just became immortal!"