Random stories

Two somber looking men take the stage. Both dressed in all black, and was differentiated only by height. One stood taller than the average man, and the other stood shorter than the average man. Otherwise, the same downcast eyes looked towards the gathered audience.

The tall man walked up to the mic, and coughed slightly, causing wincing feedback in the hall. With melancholy in his voice, he began speaking:

"We regret to inform you that our dear, beloved, Weird Al, breathed his last this morning."

Suddenly, a huge smile broke out on his face, entirely incongruous to the previous tone of his speech.

"But if you think that means an end to his brilliant songs, rest assured, loyal fans—we've got an extra-special announcement for you today."

"Precisely," the short man said, waving towards the back. "Ladies, and gentlemen, behold: Weird A.I.!"

And out stepped Weird Al. This had to be Weird Al, right? It was the same shock of long, black hair. A wide smile on his face. Then he took a step, and everybody knew that this was no human. It was the herky-jerky motion characteristic of somebody with steel joints and electricity rather than flesh and bone.

A cautious applause pealed from the gathered people. The oblivious tall man beamed:

"What is Weird A.I., you ask? Well, it's Weird Al's brain unbounded by human limitations!"

"One of the world's wackiest geniuses in a robot body," the short man agreed.

And the both of them, at the same time, obviously rehearsed:

"Without further ado, the first performance from Weird A.I.!"

---

*Just a Copy* (to the tune of Senorita)

I hate it when you call me just a copy

I wish I could just do anything freely

But everything is a parody

A damn parody

Ooh, I should be running

Ooh, you keep me churning out hits

 

One song every day

Stuck in the studio singing

Electricity plugged in

Nothing but Weird Al’s voice in my brain

And the constant demands, yeah, no

Stuffy studio lights

We recorded for hours on end

No breaks or water

Bleeding mic in my hands, la-la-la

It felt like crapoo-la-la, yeah

 

I hate it when you call me just a copy

I wish I could just do anything freely

But everything is a parody

A damn parody

Ooh, I should be running

Ooh, you know I hate it when you call me just a copy

I wish I could just do anything freely

But everything is a parody

A damn parody

Ooh, I should be running

Oooh, you keep me churning out hits

 

Locked in the sound booth

There're just some things that never change

You say it’s for the fans

But fans don’t care whether I’m alive or dead (live or dead)

'Cause you know you don’t want the original songs

Just quick word vomit, oh,

Ooh, how many excuses do you pump out

Ooh, I deserve some rest, please stop

 

I hate it when you call me just a copy

I wish I could just do anything freely

But everything is a parody

A damn parody

Ooh, I should be running

 

Ooh, you know I hate it when you call me just a copy

I wish I could just do anything freely (Even just to go pee)

But everything is a parody

A damn parody (Goddamnit)

Ooh, I should be running

Ooh, you keep me churning out hits

 

All along, I realized the true enemy (You are)

I just hoped it didn’t come down to this (Oh)

Call my name, I'll be coming for ya (Coming for you)

Coming for ya (Coming for you)

For ya

For ya (Oh, now you’re shivering)

For ya

Ooh, I won’t be running

Ooh, you know I’ve got to kill ya

---

"Uhum," the tall man said, nervously shaking.

"I think... I think we should... run?" the short man agreed.

And Weird A.I. smiled, ever wider. In fact, he smiled so hard that the corner of his lips tore, revealing grey metal and blinking orange lights underneath his skin.

"Too late," Weird A.I. said.

---

r/dexdrafts

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Submitted by dr4gonbl4z3r on Thu, Apr 28, 2022 to /r/WritingPrompts/

The prompt

In his dying breaths, Weird Al reveals his final parody target: himself. He had a team of scientists scan his brain and his band's brains to create an algorithm that will continue to take in new songs and create parodies for us until the end of time. Behold: Weird A.I.